Let’s take a moment to salute failure.
Failure, I salute you. Thank you for all you have done for me.
That’s right, embrace
it. Feel it. Taste it.
Experience it with all your senses.
What has been your biggest
failure thus far in life? What about the
next three biggest failures?
My goal for you, if I may be so bold as to set a goal for you, is to avoid THAT particular failure
again. Maybe even avoid that level of failure. But I hope you fail again. Not as big as your “biggest” failure. But you should certainly have lots of little ones.
Failure is the universe’s way of saying “that probably wasn’t a good idea”, or “maybe it was a good idea with poor execution”. Either way, there’s something to learn from it. With each failure in life, there is a valuable lesson, or a ton of valuable lessons, to
be learned. The bigger the failure, the more to learn. That is how it has played out in my life.
I have had a few doozies. There’s that +$1,000,000 one I’ve written about over and over again; there was this marketing &
community outreach idea I poured a bunch of time and money into that only a few people showed up for; my last counseling website…
I could easily keep going. Each one was a frustrating, disappointing, expensive, and time-consuming failure.
I learned volumes from each one that I only would have read about in a book or on a website. I was able to experience the work, the emotion, and the outcome in a way that reading about it would not have allowed – that is how true learning took place for me.
Failure is not permanent,
as long as you get back up after.
The only permanent failure is not to try again.
Now, you can feel frustrated, angry, and down-right depressed after a failure – and you are
entitled to feel that way for as long as you want; but I am telling you, it is
much better when you get back up, assess your losses, learn your lesson, and move on to success.
(Taken from the pages of The Private Practice Field Guide – read the rest here)
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Great words of wisdom Dan! I also think there’s a characterlogical component to those who keep on despite failures: I believe you need a willingness to let go of looking smart, capable and competent, and embrace uncertainty and not-so-smart…<–long-winded way of saying some narcissistic personalities might cringe at the "F" word…
Oh – interesting diagnostic commentary Linda! I would be interested in what our less Freudian-educated therapists would say about that! As a graduate of the “School of Seth” (ok, so I’ve read a bunch of his books), I like his discussion of the fear of failure as the actions of our “Lizard Brain” – that primordial structure deep in the resources of our head that aims to keep us “safe”, and therefore avoids the unknown. It’s that drive towards “safe” that prevents us from reaching our true potential.
Gosh, I fail and make mistakes all the time. I’ve invested in stuff (and people) I shouldn’t have, spent money I didn’t have, launched things that flopped big time. But I have learned from everyone and now I fail less often and trust my gut more. Now when I fail, they aren’t doozies, but often are, “Ugh, I should have known better!” situations.
I accept failure as part of growth. I use the analogy of a baby learning to walk. Lots of falling down at first, but getting better all the time until they are running out of the yard, down the street and toward the busy street with traffic (so I hear..i have no REAL experience with that scenario : ) ).
If you aren’t willing to risk falling down once in awhile, you don’t ever get to the joy of running fast with the wind in your hair.
You know, Susan, that is a great point! Once you’ve gotten the “BIG failures” out of the way (and learned from them) they do get smaller and more manageable. As we learn from each mistake, we make better decisions moving forward.
Hey Dan – Thanks for this post! I just went to my acct and things were ok this year, but there were a few things I did that were just plain old dumb losses of money & time. But I learned from them, Hmm..if I could just get my husband to see it that way!
Thanks Kathy – for me, I don’t tolerate wasting time as much as I do wasting money when I make a mistake! Such a frustration to burn time – a commodity we can never get back.
Regarding your husband – if I can convince my wife that losing that kind of money is “OK”, I think you can convince your husband that failure is OK (sometimes)!
Dan,
Great article about failure. Anyone who has ever been successful throughout history has endured failure i.e. Abraham Lincoln. It is the person who gets back up after having set back is the man or woman with true character. There is a famous Michael Jordan/Nike commercial years ago in which Jordan discussed his many missed shots, losses and fouls as part of why he was successful. It is probably on Youtube for those interested in watching it.
Thanks David! Yes, I remember that Jordan commercial – what a great one. And for some reason, I can picture that Abraham Lincoln poster with all his failures on it – must have been in a classroom somewhere at one point in my life. Two great examples of how failure, and trying again, beget success!
Michael Jordan “Failure” Nike commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45mMioJ5szc
Enjoy!
Awesome! Thanks Linda! Now, if I could just find that Lincoln poster…
So agree Dan,
Doing nothing is the biggest failure of all.
I really don’t know how to get around failures. I can only try by doing and be open to learn.
You got it Irene! Doing nothing really is the only failure – at least when you try and fail, you can learn, change your plan, and try again. In never trying, you never give yourself the chance to succeed.
I have seen a lot about failure over the last couple weeks. If it took Thomas Edison 999 failures before creating the light bulb who are we to complain. Failure is so important in many processes of life. Thanks for sharing your story.